


a loose thread

by bossheeseung



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling Out of Love, I Did This During School, M/M, a gain yes again, i reaalllllly don't know what im doing, i was bored again, little to no fluff, maybe if heehoon posted a selca this wouldn't have happened, maybe if i wrote like this on my ela essays, one sided attraction?, this is why im failing school, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bossheeseung/pseuds/bossheeseung
Summary: Heeseung could see it. He wasn't dumb after all - he saw ages ago how Sunghoon began looking at him differently, the glint of love in his eyes slowly fading.But how could any of the two let go?
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	1. Heeseung.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah... uhm angst again im back with angst i'm too jobless for this

Day by day, Heeseung could see how Sunghoon always offered less and less effort into the relationship, and now Heeseung was always the one receiving the short end of the stick.

But Heeseung himself was too much of a coward to break it off and let go. He wanted Sunghoon to himself - was that too selfish of him?

He wanted the younger boy to love him, but if that didn't work he just wanted to feel love. He wanted to feel the feeling of loving someone who loved him back. Even if he was the one stupidly trying to convince himself that Sunghoon still loved him, knowing deep down Sunghoon no longer did, at least it gave Heeseung a bit of comfort.

But at the same time, Heeseung wanted Sunghoon to break it off. He wanted Sunghoon to just end the relationship already. Because he knows that he himself would never make that move. So that meant he had to hold onto Sunghoon. Hold onto the man who no longer loved him, who no longer looked at him with those shining eyes and bright smile. Love a man who didn't love him back. And replaced with his shining eyes and bright smile was a rather forced smile, and eyes that weren't necessarily dull- just not filled with adoration anymore. 

Why couldn't Sunghoon just... break it off? Heeseung knew that was asking for a lot, considering he himself couldn't manage to break it off either.

Heeseung had always heard wonderful stories of love, stories about how his parents met and friends around him dating. He'd always dream about the feeling of being in love, and what happiness it must bring.

God, if only he knew the heartbreak it could bring along as well.

Because if Heeseung had figured out this deal with love a while ago, he didn't want it. He wouldn't have ever wanted it. If this was truly love, he didn't want it anymore.

Why was he clinging onto a thread, a thread so loose and worn out that it could snap in a moment? Why was it Sunghoon holding the thread, having the wheel, and Heeseung dangling from the bottom? Why couldn't it be the other way around? Why couldn't the thread just break, and snap? Where were the scissors Heeseung needed, the scissors that would finally help him let go?

Maybe he didn't deserve scissors.

Heeseung didn't know what hurt more- the pain of the happy memories he once had, or the ache for what never will.


	2. Sunghoon.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunghoon wasn't dumb either - he knew that he should come clean and tell Heeseung the truth right away.
> 
> But would he actually?
> 
> Nah. Probably not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo chapter two!! this is kinda rushed uh sorry <3

Sunghoon was sorry. He was so, so, sorry.

He hadn't intended on stretching out his relationship for this long. That moment he'd realized he no longer loved Heeseung romantically, he was already planning on how he could break it off.

"Let's break up." He'd say in his mind.

No, that was too harsh.

"Hyung, I'm really sorry, but I think we should end this." He'd try.

Maybe that would work.

But he never got a chance to say it.

Every time he saw the older's face looking at him, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew he was continuously dragging Heeseung along into his own mess, and was giving him false hope which he shouldn't have been doing. He knew everything he was doing was wrong.

So why couldn't he end it? He'd not only be setting himself free, but also Heeseung as well.

Why couldn't he be the scissors that Heeseung needed? It was the least he could offer at this point.

Maybe it was guilt, guilt from 4 years ago, where he had promised to stay by Heeseung's side forever.

 _Forever._ A word that so many people have cluelessly used in their lives. A word that could bring so much happiness or fondness in the spur of the moment, only to bring pain later on in life.

A word of so many broken promises.

 _Forever._ Sunghoon wanted to stay by Heeseung's side forever, and he wanted to return the love, dedication, and efforts that Heeseung had given him for almost 4 years, back to Heeseung himself. 

Because even though Sunghoon no longer loved Heeseung romantically, he knew very well that he cared a lot for the older. And Heeseung deserved nothing but the best. Something that Sunghoon wanted to give, but couldn't offer.

He knew he was wasting more and more time the longer he held the relationship out, and convince himself that he loved Heeseung. But he did it anyways. Because he wanted to love Heeseung.

As foolish as it was, he wanted to love him like he once did. He tried so hard everyday to find that spark he once felt looking at Heeseung. But he just couldn't do it.

In his eyes, all he could ever see Heeseung as was a best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we love angst im sorry all i know is angst maybe ill write fluff one day


	3. the thread.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long, worn out thread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo its the end!  
> sorry im horrible with notes and summaries pls ignore me

What's the deal with a thread anyways?

Maybe because the thread had been formed that moment that Heeseung and Sunghoon met. Maybe it represented their relationship.

And as Heeseung and Sunghoon grew with each other, had their moments, so did the thread. The thread grew. But now that they were growing farther and farther apart, maybe the thread was wearing down. But never enough for it to snap.

Maybe a normal thread would've broke much earlier on. But that wasn't the case with Heeseung and Sunghoon's thread. 

Their thread was special.

Or, at least, it _was_.

Maybe one day the thread _will_ snap. Or maybe one day Sunghoon will be able to pull Heeseung up, up next to him, by his side, and fulfill his long made promise with no hesitation. Or maybe Heeseung will pull Sunghoon down, down next to him, but not in _that_ way. And not only would their wishes be unanswered, but they'd be drowning in a pool of pain. Because sometimes, life just isn't fair.

Scissors. Maybe they'd get scissors one day.

Or maybe they could both pull in on their own ends, and the thread could finally snap.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Always a maybe. Like their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help sorry this chapter was kind of repetitive


End file.
